BELLA: So did you do the chemistry homework?
EDWARD: Like, 100 years ago.
BELLA: No, seriously. Quit making jokes about our age difference. I have to do my homework before I go home and cook my dad his dinner.
EDWARD: You are a magnificent flower and the sweet cherry atop my life's sundae. Marry me and your life will be distilled bliss, for I do not eat food that requires cooking, and I am rich enough that your chemistry grade matters not a whit.
BELLA: Um, let's not talk about what you eat.
EDWARD: Your wish is my command, fragrant blossom.
BELLA: I don't understand how you can say that. I'm just a plain, awkward girl who needs to strap herself to the commode so she doesn't fall off. Accident-prone is my middle name.
EDWARD: I will sneak into your bathroom and offer my steady, marble-like arms as your supports. No harm shall come to you, my pet.
BELLA: OK, but you have to be really quiet about it and stuff, because my dad is, like, the police chief and even though he can't cook his own dinner, he will totally OWN your undead badonkadonk if he catches you.
EDWARD: (Laughs) Did you just see that? I sprinted to the end of these mossy rocks and back in less time than you took to say badonkadonk.
BELLA: Kiss me unchastely, you sexy beast.
EDWARD: Let's do your chemistry first, and then we shall go for a ride in my Volvo.
BELLA: See? I am ugly. My vampire boyfriend doesn't even want to neck.
(Summit Entertainment)
10 comments:
Okay, that was REALLY, really funny. That really sums it up nicely right there. I hope I can stop snorting over it in time to see the movie on Friday with my girlfriends. (o:
Now they just need to do one for the other three books in the series. I wish I would have just waited to read the synopses. I spent countless hours reading those pithy books just to SEE WHAT HAPPENS! ARGH!
HEEEE!!!! :) Loved it.
too funny. I just may have to steal it.
To all you Twilight nerds. I'm just warning you that you are only one step away from Cosplaying L.A.R.Ping and playing Dungeons and Dragons. So anytime you want to come hang out with me I'll Break out my Final Fantasy costumes and Dungeons and Dragons books and we can all play Vampires vs. Werewolves at the prom. In fact, That's the setting of a new D&D module called. "Bloodnight: Romance of the Undead" It's where you help a lonley vampire finally find true love at the prom.
Hey, I told you I might steal it. And I did give you credit!
ok heather that was funny - i am not sure how big a fan i am of the whole "Twilight" thing but i am going to the movie on saturday cause my friends dentist rented out the whole movie theatre so i get to go for free! i am so glad u r my visiting teacher! we so have to talk! cause you scrapbook? now i know we will be great friends!!!
ok heather i am the biggest NERD EVER! i read your blog wrong- you don't scrapbook! but that is ok i still know we will be great friends!
Brilliant! That was awesome. I will share with fellow Twilight nerds!
you clever girl you! that was great!
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